No. 1 - Retro Command Center Deluxe

Ah, I see we've teleported back to the '80s where the computers were chunky, and the phone cords could double as jump ropes. That computer looks like it eats floppy disks for breakfast and printer jams for lunch. And is that a landline phone with a cord? Quick tip: if you ever get lost in the woods, that phone cord is long enough to help you find your way back to civilization! Style-wise, it's giving 'vintage chic' but also screams, 'I haven't upgraded since Reagan was in office.' Neatness? Immaculate. You could probably bounce a quarter off that desk pad. Coolness is through the roof if we're judging by historical museum standards. Let's name it 'Retro Command Center Deluxe.'